I believe this title is VERY misleading. We moms out there KNOW that there is no such thing as just ONE blog post about being a mom. I mean, come on! There are a million memes floating out there on social media. The purpose of this title is to introduce MY personal experience as a working mom trying to juggle the chaos of life and STILL questioning myself as to if I am a good mom.
There’s like a bajllion opinions on working moms; we’re dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t. The overall consensus I am getting with working moms is that we are missing out on our kids’ milestones. I mean no one wants to get a phone call that our baby took his first steps today. You don’t think I wanted to see and experience it for myself! I’d just rather the person not even tell me and just let me have my cake and eat it too, ha! But, in all seriousness, I chose to work for multiple reasons. MY reasons may not agree with you and that is OK. There is NO rule book on motherhood and don’t let a “Karen” tell YOU what is right for YOUR child. Can I get an AMEN!
So the first reason I choose to work is simple and might seem a bit selfish, but I want to be self sufficient. Not that I am looking for me and my husband to separate, BUT GOD forbid something happens to him, I would be financially able to support the family. Look, there is NO shame in my game. I depend on my husband like he depends on me; we are a team. Marriage should be a team effort, each giving it 100% 24/7. I once had a patient scold me for letting my husband change our baby’s diaper. She said in my day, that would have been shameful. That is degrading his masculinity. Again, there are a thousand different views on motherhood, you do not have to agree with mine.
Secondly, I work because that is how I was raised. My parents are immigrants from Vietnam. They came to America with the shirts off their backs to escape a war zone with little opportunities to succeed. When they arrived, they opened a family restaurant and just up until October of 2019 they retired from it. That restaurant had been operating for over 30 years! I watched as my mother and father work over 80+ hours a week in order for their children and grandchildren to succeed in America. Let me also add, my father kept working even after his diagnosis and treatment of Multiple Myeloma in 2011. If that’s not enough sacrifice to push an individual to succeed, then I don’t know what else there is. The Asian community likes to keep busy, when we are stagnant we fill like we are wasting precious time. Trust me, it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Being a working mom is rewarding in my book. My kids are in daycare and they are evolving into the little social butterflies they are. They are learning, playing, and interacting with other kids and when we go home they tell me about their day. That, to me, is something very special because they are at an age where they will tell me EVERYTHING. It may take hours, but there will come a time where they won’t do that anymore. There are many trial and guilt trips I have / will have with myself on this journey, but the most important thing is to see the silver lining in EVERYTHING. There are no failures when it comes to motherhood, it’s all in our heads because at the end of the day when those sweet little legs come running up to you, hug your neck, and tell you they love you ALL those “failures” disappear.
